What did Stephen Hawking have for breakfast? His left shoulder.
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
Yo mama so stupid, she used a fork to save the milk from the cereal.
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
What’s an orphan’s favorite cereal?
Because it’s the only magical string in his life.
What is an egg joke?
Egg-xcellent question!
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.
The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast”
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.
Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.
What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
My day started out great until I woke up.
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
I got up one day; my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me and my mom out. I showed my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I asked my neighbor, "Do you know any tricks?" He said, "Yes, in matter of fact, I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast." I said, "How?" Well, my neighbor licked my mom's ass and ate her pussy out in front of me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car; I asked my neighbor, "How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast?" My neighbor said, "Well, that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up."
