Fila is a cool brand. I fill a cock in my ass.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
What cereal do I eat?
Captain Bolts.
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
What do you call a Krispy Kreme Donut combined with a Big Mac from McDonalds?
A Krispy Kreme Mac.
My friend's name is Campbell, so she must love soup.
Yo' mama is so stanky, her Sure deodorant got confused and her Secret deodorant told on her.
Why did the pervert sing "Gucci Gang"?
Because a woman just gave him a lil pump.
Why is Megan a down?
Because her last name is Downy.
Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?
Asgard.
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
What is the butt’s favorite computer?
The Tushiba.
Hey, look, it's Bai! (insert the picture of a Bai drink)
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!
