Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her pussy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do youβ HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head N Shoulders.
What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?
...Rape.
What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call a man who loves Adidas and Puma and drives a Volkswagen? Potential Nazi.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
McDonald's called back and they said they want their logo back.
You think you guys are funny, but look at your hairline. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol. ππππππππ€¨ππ¦πΆπ»πππππππππππππ³π³π³πππππππ€¨
What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?
Michelin.
Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.
What is Puss In Boots' favorite boot brand?
CAT!
What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?
Answer: Forever 21.
What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!
Whatβs the name of this brand? *picture of puma logo*
Them: Puma
βPuma balls in yo mouth.β
Hansume cheetah e Cel Cheetos?
Why are school shootings branded βvery Americanβ?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. Theyβre like the Fourth of July: thereβs a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
Doctor: Congratulations!!!
Woman: Was it a successful delivery?
Doctor: No, itβs DiGiorno!
Takis.
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
