I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
Yo mama so stupid!
She bought a spoon... TO THE SUPERBOWL!
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wouldn't whistle, so I bought a steel whistle. But it still wouldn't whistle. So I bought a lead whistle, but it still wouldn't lead me to whistle.
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?
How much did the haulla-cost?
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.
I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.
