Bottom jokes
What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?
The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.
What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
"Go fuck yourself... at the bottom of the sea."
What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?
It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
ChEesE
What is the biggest butt in the world?
The bottom of the ocean.
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
JFK is definitely a bottom.
What's the grossest thing ever?
A bag of dead babies.
What's even more gross?
The bottom one is still wriggling!
Apparently, rock bottom has a basement.... :\
Teddy’s got a man in his Fanny.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
I want your cock in my rock bottom.
An Australian, an American, and a British man are on a golf course.
They're all on the green and working out their next shot when a phone starts ringing.
"Terribly sorry," says the Brit, but instead of getting out a phone, he twists his earlobe around to reveal a speaker and opens his bottom lip to reveal a microphone and takes the call.
The other two are pretty impressed, and the Brit shrugs modestly.
"State of the art British tech. Surgically implanted. Amazing stuff."
They get set to resume, but another phone goes off.
"Ugh, sorry guys," says the American, but instead of taking out his phone, he holds up his hand, taps the palm with his other hand, and it turns into a screen. As the other two watch, the American has a video call.
When he's finished, the other two are impressed, but the American waves it off.
"No biggie. Just the latest and greatest in digital communications from the good old US of A."
Again, the three are about to continue their game when there's a strange, electronic sound and, much to the other two's surprise, the Aussie runs off into the bushes.
The Brit and the American follow him and soon find the Aussie squatting down in the middle of a clearing, clothes around his ankles, bare-assed and grunting.
"What the hell..." one of them says, but the Aussie holds up his hand in apology.
"Sorry fellas, got a fax coming through..."
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?
Jm: Excujjimi?
Jk: No offense, Jim.
Jm: Yah, call me hyung!
Jk: But I'm bigger.
Jm: I'm older!
Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.
Jm:......
What's written on the bottom of a Belgian swimming pool?
"No smoking."
Why did I giggle?
Because I saw the ocean's bottom.