Bottom jokes
Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?
Jm: Excujjimi?
Jk: No offense, Jim.
Jm: Yah, call me hyung!
Jk: But I'm bigger.
Jm: I'm older!
Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.
Jm:......
If I was a poo, I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox.
What is the biggest butt in the world?
The bottom of the ocean.
What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.
Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...
Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"
Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"
What do you call a country's booty?
Its bottom line.
How does a booty apologize?
From the bottom of his fart!
I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.
Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,
"Peter, Peter come to me!"
So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.
"Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,
"Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.
"Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"
What is scarier than a pile of dead babies?
The bottom one ate its way out!
My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"
Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.
Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!
What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.
What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.
He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.
What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?
It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!
An Australian, an American, and a British man are on a golf course.
They're all on the green and working out their next shot when a phone starts ringing.
"Terribly sorry," says the Brit, but instead of getting out a phone, he twists his earlobe around to reveal a speaker and opens his bottom lip to reveal a microphone and takes the call.
The other two are pretty impressed, and the Brit shrugs modestly.
"State of the art British tech. Surgically implanted. Amazing stuff."
They get set to resume, but another phone goes off.
"Ugh, sorry guys," says the American, but instead of taking out his phone, he holds up his hand, taps the palm with his other hand, and it turns into a screen. As the other two watch, the American has a video call.
When he's finished, the other two are impressed, but the American waves it off.
"No biggie. Just the latest and greatest in digital communications from the good old US of A."
Again, the three are about to continue their game when there's a strange, electronic sound and, much to the other two's surprise, the Aussie runs off into the bushes.
The Brit and the American follow him and soon find the Aussie squatting down in the middle of a clearing, clothes around his ankles, bare-assed and grunting.
"What the hell..." one of them says, but the Aussie holds up his hand in apology.
"Sorry fellas, got a fax coming through..."
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
For the same reason a ship won't stay afloat with holes in the bottom.