Bottom jokes
In 9/11, people were dying for the pizza. But it was at the bottom, so they had to die for it literally.
What is the biggest butt in the world?
The bottom of the ocean.
What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.
Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...
Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"
Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"
How does a booty apologize?
From the bottom of his fart!
What do you call a country's booty?
Its bottom line.
I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.
Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,
"Peter, Peter come to me!"
So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.
"Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,
"Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.
"Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"
My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"
Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.
What is scarier than a pile of dead babies?
The bottom one ate its way out!
What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.
What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.
He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.
Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!
What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?
It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
For the same reason a ship won't stay afloat with holes in the bottom.
What's the grossest thing ever?
A bag of dead babies.
What's even more gross?
The bottom one is still wriggling!
What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?
The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.