Born Jokes

the day after chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital

Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him Sudden Lee.

Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."

Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.

Teacher: Where were you born? Student: The highway Teacher: What do you mean Student: I don't know my mom says thats were all the accidents happen.

There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks why is my name daisy? The mom says because when you were born a daisy fell on your head. The second kid asks their mom why is my name butterfly? The mom says because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head. Then the third kid yells ahjoejienfkef. The mom says shut up brick!

there's three kids: little drop, little feather, and little brick. Little feather goes "mommy why do u call me l'feather"? She answers "cuz a little feather fell over your head when u were born". L'drop asks to his mom "mommy why do u call be l'drop"? She answers "cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born". L'brick goes " aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn"

You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

When I was born the doctors said , “it’s a boy!” Then when they went to cut the embilical cord, they cut the wrong thing. Then they said , “OH, It’s a girl.”

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Alabama. Every time there's a family reunion a baby is born 9 months later.

I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.

What do you call children born from incest?

Gross Domestic Product

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

At first, I was a boy trapped in a girl's body, then I was born.

Crispy Juicy Tender, I Just Put My New-Born Son In A Blender

Why did the united nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public? Because the french government was using the guillotine on new born babies for circumcision.

A womens knitters group is having a meeting and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies. One woman says "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system". Another knitter says "I'm taking Folic acid to help my baby's brain". Finally one woman says "I'm taking Thalidomide". All the women turn to her and say "Thalidomide ! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?" The woman shrugs her shoulders and says "I don't know how to knit arms". (Told to me by a woman knitter)