Born jokes

I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.

What do you call a midget born from precum?

"Half Nut!"

What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.

I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!

Why did the Dinosaur cross the road?

'Cause the Chicken wasn't born yet.

What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?

When Chinese babies are born, they should put "MADE FROM CHINA."

9 months before I was born,

I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.

If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.

Your mom was born in a dumpster, as well as you.

One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.

Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"

I always hated being born a Catholic as a kid. The way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over, and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church. I was always thinking, “For God’s sake, just pick a position and fuck me!”

If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

I was born on the moon.

Yeah, my mom was high, and my dad was down to earth.

When you're born on 4/20/69...

I bet when you were born, the doctor looked away because of your virginity.

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.

A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?

Answer: He was born on February 29.

Who is the definition of a natural-born cocksucker?

A bisexual male, a homosexual male, a bisexual female, or a heterosexual female?

A physically disabled heterosexual male.