some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians
Why cant you fool an aborted fetus Because it wasn't born yesterday
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack 2 weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life) -_-
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?" Her mother smiled and replied: Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy tool the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so hight that we fucked without a condom!
did you know? about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark
Where you born on the high way that's where most accidents happen
why can't you fool an aborted baby? because it was not born yesterday.
Little boy asked his dad why was he was born black. Father replied, so the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin. Then he asks why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire. So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you. Then what are we doing living in Rochdale. (England)
Roses are red vilots are blue i was born pretty what happend to you
Why did the Dinosaur cross the road Cause the Chicken wasn't born yet.
Most orphans were born on the highway, it’s where most accidents.
When ur born on 4/20/69
What do you call an Asian that was born to early
Wong Tai Ming
Me: Hi Jacob Jacob: Hi Me: your parents went to jail for littering when you were born Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time wrong tai ming
Who is older than twin towers?billy bob the 1th,he was older than the twin towers he was born 3 minutes before the twin towers and still alive today