Born Jokes


I’m not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and i’m not gonna die the same way.


A boy and his mother survived a car crash. The boy asks his mother “Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?” The mother replies with “More like an accident.”


The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born.


There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, “Momma, why is my name Rose?” The mommy cow replies, “Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born.” The next calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Lily?” The mother replies, “Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born.” The third baby comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Daisy?” The momma cow again replieds" Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, “Huh Ruh Buh Duh!” The momma cow says, “Shut up, Cinderblock!”

in Baby

My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.

in Roast

your hairline goes back to when Adam and Eve were born.

in Depression

people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school

Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey

Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born


A boy breaks a vase and his mom says its ok honey mistakes happen how do you think you were born

Edgelord 3000

I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck? I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born

in Yo mama

Yo mama so fat that she was born on 3rd,4th and 5th of the March.


There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks why is my name daisy? The mom says because when you were born a daisy fell on your head. The second kid asks their mom why is my name butterfly? The mom says because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head. Then the third kid yells ahjoejienfkef. The mom says shut up brick!

in Uranus

Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that??

in Car

My parents told me I was born on the highway.

Aparently that’s where most accidents happen.


Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him Sudden Lee.


Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.


Crispy Juicy Tender, I Just Put My New-Born Son In A Blender


Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?

Because it wasn’t born yesterday 🤭

I’m still not sure how I’m not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I’m out in public, I’m a piece of litter.

in Puns

My dad told me that his dreams were shatterd a few years ago

Then i asked him how many years ago

He replied with ”when were you born?”

in Offensive

if mistakes make people human than your parents must have been alligators before you were born