Born jokes

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.

When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?

Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?

Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.

What is the difference between a black man and Jew?

One was born burnt.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born pretty, what happened to you?

One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.

(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)

Why did the Dinosaur cross the road?

'Cause the Chicken wasn't born yet.

Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.

I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.

Were you born on the streets? Because that's where most accidents happen.

What do you call a midget born from precum?

"Half Nut!"

What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.

Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?

You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-

(Destroys phone cutely)

If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.

I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.

My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(

What do Indians call their father when they are born?

Data.

You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.