Book jokes
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
Make him read a book.
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
What do you call it when Panera Bread is a book?
Panera Read.
Here are 20 jokes for you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!
I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
Getting a book on pasta?
Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!
I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.
My favorite novel is "The Hunchback of Notre Dame".
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”
Hi, um okay... Knock! Knock! Who's there? Doris! Doris who? Doris look I need the key!
Um...oh here another one! Okay...so sorry I type random things on these joke sites...anyway...okay. What is a book never written: "Beautiful sites of the corel rife written by the ocean!"
Once I read a book about glue.
I couldn't put it down.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
What is Africa's most famous sport?
The Hunger Games.
Damn, didn't know this site was about Harry Pot-
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?
Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.
What is Africa's most played game?
The Hunger Games.
It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.