Book Jokes

I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up? Kid 1: I want to be a fire fighter kid 2: I want to be a police officer kid 3: i want to be dead like both my parents Teacher: ok everyone pull out your books Kid 4: are we going to ignore what he said? Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

Why did the clock out the library?

It tocked to much

What’s a gay person’s favorite book?

The dictionary

Mom:son get up for school Son:I AM UP *holds up books and says im up* IM UP MOM

this isnt an orphan joke but. I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

why are people mad at me? all i did was the truth, and put the bible in the fiction section of the library.

Why did the math book go to the psychologist? -- It had too many problems.

i got my sister a book and she cried there but i forgot she was blind

What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro? A Mac Daddy Pro

i hat to run out of the libarie because i put the cook books in the women sports section

IN THE MORNING AT 6:30 AM

Teacher : who fought in the world war I ME : Trump & Biden Teacher: Oh ok ..... well good job class see you tomorrow and study your books

AFTER SCHOOL

Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing ''She looks at her clock'' Teacher : And now I am sewed

If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.

If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety

Help me....

I’m reading a book on antigravity right know It’s impossible to put down

Me running from the principal cause I put ten woman’s rights book on the fictional section🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻😂😂 haha

A book went to the doctors office and said:”doctor doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever😂😂

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down

Last week was my BLIND friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need. As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grader for a birthday present he sets it next to him. As weeks past he comes up to me. He said " That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I has ever read"