Body Jokes

I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.

Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations, he says,

"Thank you for your donation!"

Bully: Your mom gay.

Me: There's something on your chin.

Bully: Where?

Me: No, on your fourth one.

How do you find a blind man on a nude beach?

It’s not hard.

Just because she can't crawl doesn't mean she can't eat my balls.

A screenshot of a tweet that reads: "pussy tighter than an aztec clay face mask."

What did the first guy say to the second?

Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?

I'm hard right now.

'Cause you're a DICKstraction. ;)

Yo mama fat as fuck.

What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?

My penis.

What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?

"Hi-five!"

A woman wakes up in a hospital after an accident and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"

And the doctor says, "I know, I amputated your arms."

Thank the Lord for my two huge balls!

You don't need brains to be a Boss.

When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.