Body jokes
What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.
You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
What did Steven Harkens have to eat?
His shoulders.
Fart <3
Is that ass a water barrier 'cause dam[n]?
What do farts fly with?
Smellicopters!
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
What's the difference between a gay guy and an oven?
An oven doesn't fart when you take your meat out.
I farted how bout u?
Bob has no arms.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"It's not Bob."
What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?
A sexy female.
Like if you have a dick, or you are an orphan.
Your forehead is so big, when you go to the toilet, it bends. You stooped.