Body jokes

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.

When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:

Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?

I yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo, yo-yo yo-yo you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you ha! Frick, fuck, gosh dang, you’re so big that you can’t ride. This is Builder.

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.

I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.

What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?

Both get hard when we play with them.

God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.

Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.

Where would the next Formula race happen?

Answer: On your flat chest.

Wow, you did 10 chin-ups? Was it 1 for each chin?

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"

Yo mama so stupid, she put a battery up her a** and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"

A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

Why did the dwarf laugh when he walked on the field?

The grass was tickling his balls.

It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.

You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.

What does the word circumcise mean?

Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.

Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.