Body jokes

My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"

No witnesses.

Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."

I have a fat ass.

"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)

Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!

Alpha Kenny body?

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.

What happens when you have dry elbows at work?

You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.

How does a skeleton call his friends?

On the tele-bone!

How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.

One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.

I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.

Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.

Wow, you did 10 chin-ups? Was it 1 for each chin?

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"

God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.

I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.

People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"

"Yeah, over my dead body!"