Body jokes

A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."

"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)

I have a fat ass.

Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!

How does a skeleton call his friends?

On the tele-bone!

What happens when you have dry elbows at work?

You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.

People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"

"Yeah, over my dead body!"

How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.

I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.

Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.

Alpha Kenny body?

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.

Yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out, it got rug burn.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.

One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.

I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.

Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline.