Body jokes
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
Sex is basically math. You add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs to multiply inside.
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
If I have ligma and you have ligma, how about you ligma balls? 😏 (It’s all about how you pronounce the end.)
A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants.
A guy walks by and says, "Pardon me sir, but you've got a wheel hanging down your pants." The pirate responds, "I know. It's driving me nuts!"
I have a big cock.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.
It’s nice hitting it from the back when my wife has wide hips.
Her butt cheeks look like big huge ball sacks as my thighs smack up against them when I’m thrusting. I like to finish off by grinding my weiner up and down her back like a gay man frotting his schlong on his partner’s ding dong.
Yo mama so fat, when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight, not your phone number.”
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
Why did my foot cross the road?
Because your ass was on the other side.
One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.
Why do guys hold their ball sack when they run?
Because they don't have titties.
Yo momma so fat, her belt size is E for Equator.