Body jokes

I have a fat ass.

"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.

Yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out, it got rug burn.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.

I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.

Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline.

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.

When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:

Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?

I yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo, yo-yo yo-yo you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you ha! Frick, fuck, gosh dang, you’re so big that you can’t ride. This is Builder.

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.

I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.

What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?

Both get hard when we play with them.

God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.

Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.

Where would the next Formula race happen?

Answer: On your flat chest.

Wow, you did 10 chin-ups? Was it 1 for each chin?

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"