Body jokes

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:

Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?

What do you call a girl with no legs?

Unshakeable.

What do you do if your dick is smoking?

Get your mum to lick it.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.

Yo momma so fat, when she farted the Big Bang occurred.

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."

Yo mama so fat, she sat on my dick and broke it.

Joe mama so fat when she weighs herself, the weigh explodes.

Toes for hoes.

I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.

You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!

My wife is so fat.

She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.

Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.

A penis has a sad life.

His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.

I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.

I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.