Body jokes
You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.
Your mom so fat, Thanos had to clap!
Your forehead is so big, I could land a jet plane on it.
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
I have a fat ass.
Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
Alpha Kenny body?
Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
What happens when you have dry elbows at work?
You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On the tele-bone!
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.