Body jokes
My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?
At least the mountain has two hills.
Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Daddy, where's my anus?
Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.
Kid: Please.
Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.
Kid: Everybody is hugging.
I accidentally sucked my own ball sack.
Sally had 9 pounds of boobs (9), which was 2 2 many (922), so on the 9th of the month (9229) at 6pm (92296) on 68 street (922968), she went to doctor x to get 6 operations (922968x6) and left her (flip your calculator) boobless.
If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?
"You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese."
Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
You're hairline is like I was so fat Dora the Explorer couldn't find your numbers!
Your face looks like my butt, but it looks like you.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not Susie!"