Body jokes
My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!
Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.
Mijn penis is lang lmao.
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
Wanna see my pp again?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To eat Bob's arms.
Bob went to hospital and had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Bob.
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
It's snot fair!
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
Yo mama so ugly, she looks like a green bean with googly eyes.
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
Zack Stargaze has a small willy, lol.
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
Your forehead is so big you can jump without getting hurt.
Little Johnny asked the teacher why you were no shirt. Teacher says, "Because I want to." The teacher drops her pencil and picks it up. The class starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" A kid took off your bra, and we see your squish sexy boobs.
How do you make an ass laugh?
Crack a CHEEKY JOKE.
What's still together after all the sh*t they've been through? Your butt cheeks.