Body jokes
What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones!
Why is the skeleton sad and alone?
Because he is with nobody.
Balls in your jaws.
Damn, you look out of this world because you got a big head like an alien.
When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"
What has legs but can't walk?
Don't know? A paralyzed person ;))
How does NASA fart?
They fart with their ass-teroids.
Yo mama is so fat, she had to snap his finger twice.
Pooooooooooop!
What do you say to a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
Fat moms.
Have you heard of the man who got all his left side chopped off?
He was all right.
Your mum's got big tits.
I have to call Bovfa. What's Bovfa? Bovfa deez nuts fit in your mouth.
What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?
Matt.
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"
The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."
"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."
"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."
If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?
A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."
"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
My penis.
What goes in and out and saves your life but is not sexual?
Diabetes.
Why does shit come out your asshole? Cause fuck you, that's why.
Yo mama is so fat she can't even get in her own car because she's fat.