Body jokes
Your momma is so fat, when she got in the Pacific, she became the Pacific Ocean.
Your mama's so ugly, she got everything for free.
You're hairline is like I was so fat Dora the Explorer couldn't find your numbers!
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why can't the toilet paper be cheeky?
It's between cheeks at the moment.
If you're feeling numb, use your thumb.
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
Your forehead is so big, it gets home 50 min before you do.
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Why is your mom's butt so smelly? Cause she wipes poorly.
Yo mamma so fat that she like that ocean, we haven't even explored 5% of her yet.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
What’s the difference between a fetus and a woman?
A fetus has more rights.
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
Eat my butt.
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
Your forehead is so big I could stand on it.