Body jokes
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
What did the ass say to the joke?
"You crack me up!"
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.
I find that a lot of butts CRACK me up.
Deez nutz!
What has 148 teeth and🥴🥴 holding back a monster? My zipper.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
What's wrong with my friend?
He's called Dobby Coleman and has a massive jaw.
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
Why couldn't Sally open the fridge?
Because she had no arms.
Damn bro, that calculator is looking hot today. It got abs!
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.
When I die, I want my body to be cremated.
And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!
I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."
What is your name?
My ankle is named Samantha.
What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.