Body jokes
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.
Anal sex is for A**holes.
What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?
A xylophone.
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.
What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.
What did one cheek say to the other cheek?
"It is a squash in here!"
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Answer: Your right elbow.
A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"
Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.
Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye
What do you call a black hole?
Butt hole.
Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!
Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubba's two best friends (the three were inseparable) agreed. The first friend said, "Hard to tell, can you turn him over?" The coroner looked perplexed but did so. "Nope, that's not Bubba." The second friend said, "He's burnt up pretty bad, can you roll him over again?" The coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway. "Nope, that's not him." Pretty confused, the coroner asked, "How can you tell it's not him by rolling him over?" "Well, you see, Bubba had two assholes." "Impossible," the coroner replied. The friends said, "I don't know, but every time we went to town, everyone would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?
Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.
Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!
Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"