Body jokes

Yo mama is so fat, she can’t even fit in the suitcase.

Yo mama so FAT...

That when she had sex with you...

Your balls turned to pancakes.

Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.

I like Little Johnny's tight booty cheeks.

My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.

Your mom is so fat that she made the earth flat.

What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?

They take in 100's of kids.

What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?

Piss don't s**t on me!

When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:

Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?

Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...

Son: Dad, I need a new butt.

Dad: Why, son?

Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.

What do you call a girl with one leg? Ilean.

My bf: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

My bf: Ice cream.

Me: Ice cream who?

My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

What do you call a crappy circumcision?

A rip-off.

What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?

"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"

Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?

Your face.

What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?

A baby you cut one off each time.

Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.