Body jokes
It's tiring being straight 24/7.
You're so skinny, you can hula-hoop with Fruit Loops!
Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"
What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?
They take in 100's of kids.
What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?
Piss don't s**t on me!
I like Little Johnny's tight booty cheeks.
My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.
Your mom is so fat that she made the earth flat.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
Guy 1: "Stop looking at my ass!" Guy 2: "I said look at Uranus." Guy 1: "I'm looking at uranus!" Guy 2: "I said Uranus like the planet!" Guy 1: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Damn bro, that calculator is looking hot today. It got abs!
Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...
Son: Dad, I need a new butt.
Dad: Why, son?
Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.
I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.
The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"
My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."
Why does Blake like lakes? Because of cake!
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
What do you call a crappy circumcision?
A rip-off.