Body jokes

Damn bro, that calculator is looking hot today. It got abs!

Your forehead is so big, John Cena could wrestle on it.

My bf: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

My bf: Ice cream.

Me: Ice cream who?

My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!

Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...

What do you call a girl with one leg? Ilean.

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?

Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.

Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.

What do you call a midget stripper?

A pocket pussy.

Q: What do you call a little girl without arms and legs?

A: Names.

Farts.

Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!

Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.

What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?

"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"

What do you call a crappy circumcision?

A rip-off.

Your face.

What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?

A baby you cut one off each time.

I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.

The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"

My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."

Lol, I have a teeny black dick.