Body jokes

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?

Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.

What do you call a crappy circumcision?

A rip-off.

Your face.

Lol, I have a teeny black dick.

What's the difference between a gay guy and an oven?

An oven doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

Teacher: *calls you up to the board*. You: Ok. *Gets intense boner* *has to fart really bad* You: F***!!!!!!!

Why did Sally drown in the pool?

She didn't have any arms, remember!

What did the no head man say?

"Haha!"

Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.

Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.

I go to Venus to get a bigger penis.

Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.

What did one cheek say to the other cheek?

"It is a squash in here!"

A man walks in to the doctor.

He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."

Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!

I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.

I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras, but then I heard popping behind me!

An obese kid farts.

Why did the butt smell so bad? Because he didn’t have a nose! AND HE FARTED TOO!

Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.