Body jokes
Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.
It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!
"Hey, is that a peach?"
*gets slapped on the butt*
"Noted."
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
Sleep paralysis for the first time and this is what I see except it's face and body is way more stringy and hollow.
My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.
🙍🏼♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!
🙇🏼♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*
🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!
Story done. Please like.
A guy goes to see his psychiatrist dressed only in bubble wrap. When he gets there, he asked the psych, "Can you please help me?"
The psych says, "No, I'm sorry, I can clearly see your nuts."
What did the first guy say to the second?
Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?
I was gonna roast you about your chin, but I didn't know which one to talk about.
What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
Yo mama fat as fuck.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
Why do midgets laugh while they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She has no arms.
Yo mama's ass is maddddd crusty!
What do you call a crying dick?
I call it a crying dick.