Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?
Body Jokes
Yo momma is so old, she farts dust!
It's tiring being straight 24/7.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"
Why does Blake like lakes? Because of cake!
Guy 1: "Stop looking at my ass!" Guy 2: "I said look at Uranus." Guy 1: "I'm looking at uranus!" Guy 2: "I said Uranus like the planet!" Guy 1: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Son: Dad, I need a new butt.
Dad: Why, son?
Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.
Damn bro, that calculator is looking hot today. It got abs!
Your forehead is so big, John Cena could wrestle on it.
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...
What do you call a girl with one leg? Ilean.
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?
Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.
Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
Q: What do you call a little girl without arms and legs?
A: Names.
