Body jokes
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
Yo mama's ass is mad crusty.
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
Yo mama is so fat, she can’t even fit in the suitcase.
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
'Cause it was stuck in the crack... *buttcrack*
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
Your hairline starts at the back of your head.
What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.
Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.
Your forehead is so big, John Cena could wrestle on it.
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
What's the difference between limbs of babies and a dick?
I've never sucked on dicks.
Once there was a man. A man who had a butt.
Once he was at this job interview and he was going to get the job, but just before the boss was going to hire him, he farted. It was a really bad one. It was 47 minutes long and so loud the windows rattled. When it was over, the man screamed and jumped out the window.
He didn't get the job.
Why are toads born with balls on their body?
Because they want more attention!
China is as fake as bitches with plastic surgery, and they talk about body positivity.
"Hey, is that a peach?"
*gets slapped on the butt*
"Noted."
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.
Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about?