Body jokes
Once there was a man. A man who had a butt.
Once he was at this job interview and he was going to get the job, but just before the boss was going to hire him, he farted. It was a really bad one. It was 47 minutes long and so loud the windows rattled. When it was over, the man screamed and jumped out the window.
He didn't get the job.
Why are toads born with balls on their body?
Because they want more attention!
China is as fake as bitches with plastic surgery, and they talk about body positivity.
"Hey, is that a peach?"
*gets slapped on the butt*
"Noted."
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.
Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about?
My bitch as flat as her grannie's heartbeat.
What wiggles and waggles?
A floppy dick!
So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."
And her mom said, "WHAT?!"
And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"
Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."
Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.
I am a fat girl.
Why is Dawayne so small? Because his parents cut him up into small slices!
Why do farts smell?
So deaf people can enjoy them as well.
When I walk to school, I fart.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.
Yo mama so stupid that she shit and farted on you, asshole!
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
Sex is like math.
Subtract the clothes, add the bed, divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.