Body jokes
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
Me: Name all the planets.
Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.
Me: Not my anus!
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.
A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"
I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."
Bootylicious lol
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
Yo mama's ass is mad crusty.
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
Yo mama is so fat, she can’t even fit in the suitcase.
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
'Cause it was stuck in the crack... *buttcrack*
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
Your hairline starts at the back of your head.
What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.
Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.
Your forehead is so big, John Cena could wrestle on it.
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.