Body jokes
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
Friend: Do you know him?
Other Friend: Know who?
Friend: My dick!
I asked my dad, "Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head?"
He replied, "Because I thought it would look like hares."
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
I have a penis.
How's that for a fucking joke? It's not a joke. It's terrible.
500 thumbs down and I'll lop off my dick with a razor.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
Weenis long.
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with? Shingles!
I wear a nose on my forehead.
Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.
What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?
A xylophone.