Body jokes
Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.
One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.
One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
Hey, can you hold this for a second?
Face-Timing My Girlfriend:
"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*
A woman wakes up in a hospital after an accident and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
And the doctor says, "I know, I amputated your arms."
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She didn't have any arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" "Grandma." "Oh, okay."
Nah, it's a penis.
What's the difference between Andy and acne?
Acne waited until Adam could talk before coming on his face.
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Never mind, it’s too long.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side got cut off!
But he’s all right now.
What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?
Eileen.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."