Body jokes

My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.

I should put a little more backbone into them.

How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?

You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.

What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?

Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)

Why did James fall off the swing?

He had no arms.

I wanted to get brain surgery.

I changed my mind.

Yo mama so hairy, you got carpet burn when you were born.

What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?

My dick.

Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.

One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.

One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.

Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...

Hey, can you hold this for a second?

Face-Timing My Girlfriend:

"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*

A woman wakes up in a hospital after an accident and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"

And the doctor says, "I know, I amputated your arms."

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

She didn't have any arms.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" "Grandma." "Oh, okay."

Nah, it's a penis.

What's the difference between Andy and acne?

Acne waited until Adam could talk before coming on his face.

What do most disabled people eat?

Their arm.

Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.

You wanna hear a joke about my penis?

Never mind, it’s too long.