Body jokes
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
She moans with her right.
Butt Morice - ( i ) ( - )@( - ) \ \ [] \ \ ( _ ) [] ( _ ) []
What did the funny bone say to the skin?
"You're not humerus, I am!"
A man walks in to the doctor.
He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."
Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Penis, peepee, poopoo!
What's long, white, and thick? My dick.
Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do.
When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.
You don't need brains to be a Boss.
When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.
A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.
The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
A lady walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs. The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea." The lady replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
"Hey man, what’s your name? Oh, my name is... Do your balls hang low? Can you swing it to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?"
Dam, my balls itch like hell.
I have a big cock.
Up your butt with a coconut!
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!
"Get your butt out of my face!"
"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"