Body jokes
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
When it's been Halloween for a few months, but there's still a body hanging from your neighbor's tree.
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
Two guys are on a plane. One of the guys' name is Jack. The other is Peter.
Peter: "Hi Jack."
Flight Attendant: "You're going to hijack the plane?!?"
Jack: "No, my name is Ja-"
Flight Attendant: "Everybody stay calm! These two men are going to hijack the plane!"
Jack: "No, no. My name is Jack and my friend here is an idiot."
I suck my dick.
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
Boner.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-bone.
What did the skeleton say when he fell on his funny bone? He laughed!
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone!
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
Read this and you're gay.
Depression has been entered into your body.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and then begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down to the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, lolling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more.
When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying, "Linda, you're just as amazing at fucking as your sister."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma bum crack!
What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over?
A corpse, of course!
What do you call my dick?
A. A monster.
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.