Blue jokes

My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:

Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!

No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.

In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!

What is blue and wiggling on my floor?

A baby in a bag.

"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I saw your mom beat you.

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.

Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...

Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead because of you.

Actually, not because of you... because of your face.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Polo G is the goat, but that means nothing to you.

What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over?

A corpse, of course!

Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till you're asleep to rape you.

Why is the Moon red today?

The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.

Myrtle Beach has a clear blue sky and sunny weather, a pleasant place to visit as a family. Don't you think they are not evil creatures, and do you think they have them?

"No, there are no ghosts or evil creatures." You can say that, but don't be surprised when Gina Claw Scare comes for you, aka GCS for short. Gina Claw Scare was born in North Carolina in August 1991. She died in 2000. No, that's not real. WRONG. Gina's real name was Gina Clawien Scaren. Yes, that's why her name is Gina Claw Scare. Why did she die? I know, right? She died from a curse from her bad companions. We never knew their names. The curse sent her down a dark path, demons and hate comments from people on Instagram, Facebook, and the worst jokes on the site.

Gina Claw Scare loved fire, which means she was a pyromaniac. She would rise from the grave in which she was buried. Did what? Stop, for real this time!

They buried her on a lawn in the forest that caught fire. "HARSH MAN!" I know, right? She rises from that grave, she comes for the people who call her by name four times. Then she beat the drums and set your house on fire! A fire so harmful that you can feel hurt, friends. You can hear everyone's screaming, and then become like her. Never say her name. NEVER.

To All The Naruto Fans:

Sharingan is red, Rasengans are blue, If you dare touch my daughter, I'll Chidori you!

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Look at me again,

It will be the end of you.

What is black and blue and really hates sex?

The six-year-old in my basement.

What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?

You after you disrespect me.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!