Blow jokes

Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?

Me after Taco Bell, "I’m about to blow this place up like September 11."

You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!

Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.

What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.

Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?

Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈

Me and my friends were talking. Then we started talking about our wives. I said, "So, I married a volcano for a wife. You never know when she will blow up."

Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?

Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.

I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.

So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....

I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!

How do you make a blow job OSHA compliant? You add a railing!

My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.

I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!

Ferb is older than Phineas because his last line.

Ferb: "I’m boutta blow this sh*t!"

So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.

About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."

I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.

There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.

What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?

Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.

Watching porn.

Watching porn blow my dick like a basset horn.

What do Israel and Epstein have in common?

"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."

What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?

Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.

I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.