Blow jokes
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
If brains were dynamite, BLESSEDBRIAN wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.
Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?
Did you know "bj" ends with "job" because if you are giving a man a blow job, it sucks? But if you’re giving it to a woman, it's called "eating out" because it’s a privilege.
Hello people, my name is Osama.
I'm back from the dead and I want to blow you.
Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.
The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.
How do you make a blow job OSHA compliant? You add a railing!
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?
I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!
"Mom, these balloons are hard to blow."
"Son, stay out of the drawer."
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said, "You should be proud of your sister." I asked why. They told me it was the best that they ever had, and we got your sister a trophy.
So I went home, my sister said, "Look at my trophy I earned." The trophy said "The Best Blow Jobs." As a bro, I couldn’t be more prouder.
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"