Blow jokes

Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!

Hurricane Irma, it blows.

If brains were dynamite, BLESSEDBRIAN wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.

Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?

Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.

Ferb is older than Phineas because his last line.

Ferb: "I’m boutta blow this sh*t!"

Hello people, my name is Osama.

I'm back from the dead and I want to blow you.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.

Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?

It's the next thing they blow up.

It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.

Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?

Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!

Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?

Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!

Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.

Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.

He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.

Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.

Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.

Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.

So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.

About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."

Watching porn.

Watching porn blow my dick like a basset horn.