Blow jokes

One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."

The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."

I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.

What's the only time women are doing real work? When they are giving blow jobs.

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.

If brains were dynamite, BLESSEDBRIAN wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.

What is the definition of kinky according to a Canadian?

Giving a blowjob to a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise.

Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?

Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.

What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?

Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

Hurricane Irma, it blows.

Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?

Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!

So apparently, Kurt Cobain's death was mind-blowing.

I'm the type to blow up half of my house to kill a spider... and still miss.

Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?

Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!

Ferb is older than Phineas because his last line.

Ferb: "I’m boutta blow this sh*t!"

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.

He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.