Blow jokes
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.
1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?
2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
The view is so much better without those twins covering the city.
Well, that was a blow up!
What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One is glowing and the other is blowing.
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?
Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?
Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*
Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.
Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*
Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.
Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.
And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...
One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said, "You should be proud of your sister." I asked why. They told me it was the best that they ever had, and we got your sister a trophy.
So I went home, my sister said, "Look at my trophy I earned." The trophy said "The Best Blow Jobs." As a bro, I couldn’t be more prouder.
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.