Blow jokes

"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.

(Later)

"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"

Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.

Did you hear about the new sex doll they've invented for Muslims? It blows itself up!!

I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!

The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.

Did you know "bj" ends with "job" because if you are giving a man a blow job, it sucks? But if you’re giving it to a woman, it's called "eating out" because it’s a privilege.

I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.

There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.

How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?

Depends how hard they blow out the candles.

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?

You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.

"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."

"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all

Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock

when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"

Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?

What is the difference between paying $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from an able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole?

If you give $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00. 💸😁

I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.

They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!

It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!

I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.

...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"

Rizz.

Are you a dinosaur? Because I want to blow you up.

How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.

Some people said that JFK had big parties. Some even would say they were *mind blowing*.

Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?

Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.

What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?

Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.