Biology jokes

Why could dinosaurs not talk? Because they were dead.

Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.

Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.

Why did the squirrel swim on his back?

To keep his nuts dry.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.

Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.

Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?

A. Because it has a silent pee.

What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.

Now ain't that cool?

Why are Amoebas so bad at math?

Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.

What did the egg say to the other egg?

Nothing, they can't talk.

What do you call 8 x 3.14?

Octopi.

"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?

Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.

What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can’t hear an enzyme.

Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?

What do you call a skeleton's omelet?

A bonelet.

Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.