So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
I have more cum in one testicle than you have in your whole penis.
Black people are living proof we evolved from monkeys.
What do you call a person whose heart stopped?
Dead.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
My biology teacher told us “get out nice and sharp colored pencils”. Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Geometry.
(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")
What do you call an octopus on land?
A spider, duh!
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!
I hate long plants. They make me Ivysaur. Hahahahahahaha Pokemon!
What happens when animals do a squat?
It doesn't become pretty...
