Beverage jokes
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
I like my wine like how I like my women: 10 years old and locked in a basement.
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Tea-hee-hee!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Mi-hee-lk.
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
Why do orphans always have water with their cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk!
What do you call depressed coffee?
Despresso ;)
I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
Why is the rum gone?
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalffeinated.
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.