Beverage jokes
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.
What is a cow's favorite drink?
Mountain Moo!
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
Q: What will we give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.
Black and bitter.
A shop assistant is helping a little boy find his mum.
"What's she like?" he asked the boy.
"BIG COCKS AND VODKA!" said the boy.
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
What’s an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at the orange juice because it said "concentrate."
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
What is an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
I like my orphans how I like my wine, locked in my basement for ten.