Beverage jokes
What is a cow's favorite drink?
Mountain Moo!
Q: What will we give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.
Black and bitter.
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at the orange juice because it said "concentrate."
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
What’s an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Mi-hee-lk.
The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
What is an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
I like my orphans how I like my wine, locked in my basement for ten.
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
A shop assistant is helping a little boy find his mum.
"What's she like?" he asked the boy.
"BIG COCKS AND VODKA!" said the boy.