Beverage jokes

Yo mama is so dumb that she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.

Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."

What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?

Milk, because no one came back with any.

What type of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality.

My friend asked for something dark and creamy. I said..... "GU KHA".

If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?

If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

"HEY THAT’S MY MILK!"

One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.

What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?

Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.

Milk (DYM 115).

Blake drinks Coke.

A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”

What do you give a sick lemon?

Lemon-aid.

A hamburgur walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve food here."

I like my coffee like I like my women.

So what does stress and energy mean?

Beer.