Beverage jokes
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
Why is drinking soda so sad?
It's soda-pressing.
Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.
What do jokes serve for dessert?
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?
Palpatine: Brew it!
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
I like my wine like how I like my women: 10 years old and locked in a basement.
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
How do rappers like their coffee?
With a little bit of RAP-PUCCINO.
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, it's bleach.
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.
He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.
He was my least favorite grandparent.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, bleach.
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
If sugar is a drug, does that mean putting it in coffee is overdose?
I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso!!! LOL XD XD XD