Beverage jokes
What's a energy drink orphans never tried? "Mother".
The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.
You know that I drink water, right? I drink water because I am water. Water is water.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.
A pair of Newfoundlanders, watching TV, saw endless big-budget advertisements for mass-produced American beer.
One Newfie turns to the other and says, "They say that stuff is the biggest seller in the States, but I don't see what the big deal is." So they buy a bottle, pour it into a plain jar and decide to get an expert opinion.
They send a sample to a lab in St. John's to have it analyzed.
A day later, the lab results come back: "Your horse has diabetes."
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
Yo Mama is so dumb, she stares at a juice carton for an eternity because it says "Concentrate" on the box.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
Why did the orange lose the race?
Because it ran out of juice!
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
Orphan: I dip my Oreos in water.
Me: Why?
Orphan: Because my dad did not come back with the milk.
What's a rapper's favorite drink?
RHYME-A-RITA
What is a superhero’s 🦸♀️ favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!