Beverage

Beverage Jokes

National stereotype

Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.

Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.

Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.

American ran to dive, slipped, and said, "oh shit."

  • 3
  • Hipster

    How did the hipster burn his tongue?

    He drank his coffee before it was cool.

  • 1
  • Infidelity

    A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says, "Who the fuck's been fucking my wife?" The room goes silent. The guy in the back finishes his beer and says, "You ain't got enough bullets."

    Vampire

    A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"

    The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."

  • 3
  • Soda

    I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

    It was soda-pressing.

    Ocean

    I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.

    Turns out it was a Fanta sea.

  • 1
  • Lover

    I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.

    Grape

    What is purple and whines when it’s squished?

    A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂

    H20

    Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.

    Only one man came out alive.

    Orphan

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?

    Milk, because his parents never came back with it.