Better jokes
My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."
The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."
Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
Nina, you better run to hell. You're going there anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't be mean to Alex!!!!!!!!!!! He is sweet, kind, loving, and protective!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Better to cum in the sink... than to sink in the cum.
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"
What's better than one dead baby?
Two dead babies.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.
After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."
Orphans are the best people to bully. They have no parents.
"Is your refiger running?"
"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
It would have been better if Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream.
You know, for his sake.
What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?
The bench can support its family.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.
My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.