Better Jokes

Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?

Son: I don't know.

Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.

What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?

Internet.

I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).

If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!

My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.

Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.

The image shows two stick figures. The left one is white with red scribbles at the legs and it's labeled "my anger level usually". The right stick figure is completely red and it's labeled "my anger level when someone is better than me at the things I like".

I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!

A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...

Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”

1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.

2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.

3) 10 dead babies.

Mozart doesn't care if Bach is better than him; at least he puts a lot of emotion [into his music and] he makes people happy.

Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.

I've got something better for all of you. I may not have found it, but Google "hottest sexiest women ever." Then you'll want them!

The best quote by Kim Jong Un:

"Meeting girl in park is good, but parking meat in girl is better."

Meeting a girl at a park is good, but parking meat in girl is better.

East Richmond has a train station at East Richmond, but Richmond is better, why?

Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?

Answer: It tastes better.

The longer the relationship, the longer the breakup will hurt you. Better break up now ooo.🤣

Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.

So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.

Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.

Anyways, she cried lol.