VOTING QUARTERFINAL 1: LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up. DISLIKE: When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌
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This isn't a joke but in some countries children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated
I found a child on the street homeless and they were really nice so I took them Ho,e then I said who's better Biden or trump they said they support trump they r now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years
A women decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.
’About 32,’ is the reply.’
‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.<br> A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’
Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.
The clerk responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’
Again she proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, ‘Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, ‘What the hell, go ahead.’
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay.....How old am I?’
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’
‘I was behind you at McDonalds’.
Osama be like: fuck boys runway is full better use this tower
Little red riding hood says to the wolf: what a big dick you have wolf:the better to F*** you with!
Coworker why is Sara so blue? Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you, with your husband together out of love. U better watch out dear, she might saraorize him, with her crooked teeth & ultra thin lips.
You know sex is better then logical but I could’ve prove it...
Sisters Before misters I hope you get better I love you
Tried a random comic generator. Half of the ai generated comics don’t make sense, but the other half…
So there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here so take your drink, mates and fuck off." He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense." replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, He's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!". He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink he opens with, "Say aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week. He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.
My Boner Had Better Structural Support Then The Twin Towers
Without Ronaldo, United would have been: - Eliminated from the UCL in groups😠 - 13th in the league😱
Without Messi, PSG would have been: - Still 1st in the league💀 - Better chance at beating RM in the UCL 👻
Who's supposed to be the goat??
Mom says : I will go kill myself Me : *stays quite cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls* Some time later me fighting with my mom Me to my mom : OH YEA THAN KILL ME Mom : What the hell did you just say I don't want to hear it from u again Lesson? SO ITS OK FOR ADULTS TO SAY I'LL KILL MYSELF BUT NOT TEENS/KIDS!?!?!
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 3: LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺 DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”
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What's better then a meme a really good vines
