Best

Best jokes

Christmas

    • What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!

    What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!

    What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!

    What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!

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    • Kid

    • My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

    Best memes

    Guy

    • Hey guys! It's Triple G. You can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes, as those are the jokes I specialize and only do best on in the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements, as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)

    Au revoir, GGG

    Drama

    • Dear Gwen, you are not a faker, nor liar, nor loser!

    And the people that are bothering you are just dumb, stupid, bored, and need to get a fricking life instead! Don't hurt yourself because of these comments, to be honest, you're really nice, kind, and mannered! There are more kind people than mean people, and I am one of them! Just live your life and ignore Liv and the unknown guy, which is named Greg! No need for all this drama!

    Best, Tenya Bailey.

    Text

    • The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.

    Submarine

    • Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."

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    • Road Trip

    • A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.

    The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."

    The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."

    Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."

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    • People

    • What is the best thing about gay people?

    They're gay about being gay even though they're gonna get shot in the USA. Wait, that rhymes!

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    • Atm

    • I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.

    He said the ATM outside.

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    • Brother

    • I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

    When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

    I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

    I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

    (just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

    (He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

    (MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

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    • Pedophile

    • What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.

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