Best jokes

The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?

The second hour is free.

Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.

Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.

Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?

Canned hunting.

What is Stephen Hawking's best side?

The left.

For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.

Germany is the best!

Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?

What is the best part of a turkey? The drumstick!

I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.

Why are emo kids the best jumpers?

Because they never fall down.

I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.

Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.

What is the best way to make a leaf?

Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!

Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.

My grandpa was in 9/11. He was the best pilot.

What do you give a dog with a fever?

Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!

Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*

All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?

People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!

People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)

School is the best!