What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.
Fishermen are the best at networking.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?
Kill their parents.
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
The Toaster: The best bath bomb!
My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
