What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
Best Jokes
I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.
Fishermen are the best at networking.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?
Kill their parents.
The Toaster: The best bath bomb!
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
What is the best game for a deaf person?
Charades.
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
