Best jokes
When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
What’s the best song to play when visiting Africa?
"Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"
My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!
the best light skin stare
“Which tool,” Andrea Bocelli asks Chris Doemges, “fits best in the mailbox?”
Doemges: “Probably the flathead screwdriver!”
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
Zis iz za best joke in za west: exsepz if zu put ketup in shawarma itz yo mama!
Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.
Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.
Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.
I got $1,000,000 for my brother. Best trade I ever made!
Why is the wheel the best invention?
Because it's wheely wheely great!
"9/11 was not funny; it was plane wrong because my dad was the best fucking pilot in Jeddah."
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl? A blender. What's the best way to get them out? A blender.
Best not leave hungry kids unattended!
A lovely and clean kebab restaurant with the option to sit at the bar, sit outside, or eat in.
Besides kebabs, they also offer other typical dishes, such as cholodki. They also have a selection of different pizzas. The photo shows various kebab dishes with potatoes, rice, and salad. This time, the rice is mixed with oats. Enjoy! The other two kebabs are also delicious, but I didn't try them. As always, I was treated very kindly, and the service and quality ensured that they were always happy to help.
As a foodie, I have to say that this is the best kebab restaurant. Next time, I'll try the pizza and come back again.
Tell world's best yo mama joke to an orphan, then watch them cry.