Best jokes
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
Memes
Like and comment if u can relate
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
My best friend ran away with my wife. I really miss him.
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
Quote for the day.
I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.
"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."
Also, loving is so much more to give instead! Always remember to love!!! Best-Gwen :)
What is the best type of girl to fuck?
Homeless girls, because after, you can drop them off anywhere.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
Q: What's the best way to carve wood?
A: Whittle by whittle.
Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
Why is September 11th the best birthday?
Everyone remembers it! :)