What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
My best friend ran away with my wife. I really miss him.
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
Quote for the day.
I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.
"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."
Also, loving is so much more to give instead! Always remember to love!!! Best-Gwen :)
What is the best type of girl to fuck?
Homeless girls, because after, you can drop them off anywhere.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
Why is September 11th the best birthday?
Everyone remembers it! :)
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?
My best friend.
Orphans are the best people to bully. They have no parents.
Best not leave hungry kids unattended!
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
Who are the best at bowling?
Terrorists, they always throw strikes.
"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."
Me:.....
I'm lookin' for some good jokes for the best song award. Can y'all help a fellow out?
