What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
Your moms my dad. think about that
The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.
Why are Americans so good at shooting?
We have the best schools for it
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇
What's the best song to sing to George Floyd?
"I Will Survive," by Gloria Gaynor.
Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.
Who tells the best chicken jokes?
Comedi-hens!
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.
(meaning sad)
