Being jokes

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.

Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.

What can a physically handicapped ♿ gay man 👬 do on his own very well 👏 without being taught how to do?

Perform fellatio on gay men.

Hey, who thinks Gwen and Aiden are not dating, and who also thinks this dumb girl named "Zre" is being a dummy? And who thinks Gwen belongs with Prince, aka boyfriend?

What is the difference between a human being and a tree?

A human being can walk, and a tree can’t walk.

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.

God being a sniper is so fun!

Wanna know the last words of the south tower?

"HAHA LOOK AT YOU! IMAGINE BEING HIT YOU L BOZO!"

What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?

The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.

My friend dreamed of being a porno star.

He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.

The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!

Me and my life.

I'm life.

You wanna know what's a concept? An orphan being homeschooled.

Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.

What is the difference between human rights and the rights of a human being in?

What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human being is the one who can drive.

Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

Being pro-life.

Couldn't be me being an orphan.