Being jokes

How do Asian people name their children?

They throw a pan down the stairs.

What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

If stupidity was a superpower, BLESSEDBRIAN would be a MARVEL CHARACTER.

There will be better punchlines at BlessedBrian’s FUNERAL than in his JOKES.

Leo must be a parking ticket... not because of the “fine” thing, nah, it’s because she’s OVERSTAYED her WELCOME.

If stupidity was a superpower, BlessedBrian would be UNSTOPPABLE!

Leo must be an INTERIOR DECORATOR... because when she enters a room, it becomes UGLY.

I may not be your cup of tea, but I am definitely your 10th shot of tequila.

Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!

Daveon be eating Quaker Oats.

Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.

I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.

Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.

I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.

Thanks Ethan for all you've done. We've both made mistakes when all is said and done, but just thanks for being a good friend. This is officially my last post on here, Ethan-Real 1.

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

"Me and Explain Boat (RapBoat) are going to be married tomorrow," - Explain Bear.

I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.

You know how 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9?

Well, how do you think 10 feels being in the middle of 9 11?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Through highs and lows, I'll be here for you.