Being jokes
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car, then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason.
Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
Dad: "If they jumped off a bridge, would you?"
Tommy: "Yes, cuz there would be a body pile to break my fall!"
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.
I want my first time to be special.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen... to clean the rest of the house.
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.
Two Twin Towers topple to terrorists terrorizing twenty to-be-doomed trip takers.
"Fuckin blakfellas be drunk all the time," slurred Barry McKenzie over his tenth pint of guiness.
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
Roses are red, I have no money, I want to be dominated by a goth mommy.